5 things to keep in mind before giving up on your goals

Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to give up on everything, when you just feel hopeless?

We’ve all been there. The point where we know the stress has completely taken control of us and our minds have made us believe that our dreams are absolutely impossible to come true.

It’s tricky sometimes, isn’t it?

Trying to find our place on this planet. Tapping into our inner desires.

Sometimes we know what we want but not how to get there. Sometimes we know “this isn’t me”, but we have no clue who “me” is. And sometimes we think we’re already there, then something out of the blue happens and we realize, this isn’t me at all.

At each stage, there are pitfalls that can keep us looking in the wrong direction, stuck in fear, or stressed about how to move forward.

I know, We’ve all been back and forth through all of them.

And just when we’re ready to quit, we’re closer than we know. There’s an old Chinese saying that I think is really true. It goes like this:

“The Temptation to Quit Will Be The Greatest Just Before You Are About To Succeed”

And even though we may realize that we are at a point in our lives where it’s about all or nothing, now or never, and at these moments, the questions and doubts are just so strong, tricking us into believing that we are not capable.

These are the days when we need something to lift us up and help us keep going because we just cannot pretend that our dreams don’t exist or they don’t matter.

Through it all, I would like to share 5 simple laws to help you navigate the ups and downs of discovering and following your dreams.

1. Break the Big Goals Down into Smaller Steps

Tiny steps in the direction of the goal are still steps in that direction. There is a real magic to be found in connecting the steps together consistently.

Big goals are fine as a guiding star, but they need to be supported with smaller steps. Wishful thinking will not make it happen!

Want to write a book? Get started by developing a regular writing habit. Maybe try an example of writing one line a day to get that done or try something else that works. Whatever the objective is, developing a regular practice will help get us closer to it.

Take up small steps every day that support this happening and that keep you accountable, while still being achievable. Commit to this and watch amazing things happen.

2. Learn the difference between an inner desire and unhelpful mind talk.

Most of us know the value of listening to our intuition. But it’s confusing sometimes.

The limitations we perceive are put in place by us and only us. Silencing the critical voices of others and that critical voice within will allow you to get in touch with your desires and the possibilities of achieving them.

It is the “impossible” that stretches us, shows us what we can become, and aids in the formation of who we are meant to be.

When we believe in our potentials, our lives will take on a whole new expression.

“I can’t” turns into “I will.”

Remember whatever thoughts we put out into the universe is how our life is going to unfold.

3. Stop worrying about how to get there—or if “there” is even a good idea.

Human beings are wired for safety. This is why we want to control what our next step is going to be. We try to avoid the unknown.

But no good thing has ever happened from the known. To get to where we really want to go, there is no pre-drawn map. The good news is that we don’t need one! All we need is the next step. And this is something we already know on the inside.

Regardless of our beliefs, trust that life will never put us against something more than what we can handle.

4. Accept the failures.

Surrendering to the failures is when most people give up. We’re scared of failing.

It is the biggest milestone standing in between our ability to make our dreams come true.  And before we even know, failure has taken the best of us and we like to hold on to the feeling that it is rather impossible.

What we fail to see is that failures are, instead, a series of events that are guiding us to the end destination. That’s all they’ve ever been. A ladder to our dreams, to our untapped potentials.

There’s a saying in Hollywood that goes, “When you fail, you fail upward.”

That’s because failure is just a stepping-stone toward success. Without first making mistakes, we wouldn’t know how to succeed. We just need to believe in our ability to make things happen and hold on to the vision that has been fuelling us ever since.

5. Remember why we are doing this.

Making a lunge for what’s important to us is scary.

Always is.

Every time we have followed what was in our heart, most people thought we were crazy. But you know what? The voice of derision we most need to watch out for is our own.

Anyone who has experienced any kind of success understands that it does not come without hard work, discipline, and dedication. When we finally come from behind and achieve the impossible, the triumph seems so much greater.

Determination, commitment, and a burning desire to see our dreams through is the key to achieve any goal our intuition guides us toward.

Finding our way is a lot about getting out of our own way.

Letting go of ideals that have been imposed on us. Taking leaps, stumbling and getting up. Trusting our inner guidance.

And remember, always, we’re doing fine. Even when it seems like we’re making a mess of it, we’re not.

We hope these tips can help you get better at achieving your goals; just don’t forget that the only one who can get it done is you.

Let us know in the comment sections below what your goals are. We’ll surely try to help you achieve them.  Nothing that comes easy has ever been worthwhile. Claim it and make it to the top.

If you liked this blog you may also like: 5 Career Options Out of the Box


Written by

Studying bachelor’s in biotechnology, Aayushi is a really passionate person, who loves to read and travel. She believes people, places, and stories have the power to change anyone and help them understand the purpose of life.

Great things never came from a comfort zone

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”

– Brian Tracy

You know those signs that say, “this is your comfort zone”, with and then have a circle drawn around the words? Somewhere outside of the circle it always says, “this is where the magic happens”.

But what they don’t say is how getting outside your comfort zone comes with intense feelings. If there are too many unknown factors, we tend not to want to go into that space at all.

Why?

Because we’re scared. Scared to step into the unknown, scared of failure… But if you listen to those fears you may never realize what lies ahead of you, beyond these feelings.

magic happens outside your comfort zone

When thinking of trying new things, there are few things we usually dread more than feeling anxious and uncomfortable. But the funny thing is, we can also get obsessed with this exact same feeling — that life happens outside of our comfort zone.

Because you know that getting out of your comfort zone is crucial for the person that you want to become.

All development comes from outside your comfort zone, especially from failure.

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.”

– J.M. Barrie

As a human being, we tend to dread struggles and the discomfort that comes with them. What we fail to realise is that struggles and discomfort are a part of the process from the very start.

When you were a kid, your parents always forced you to try new things, right? Some of these you probably didn’t want to do, and in the end, either you succeeded or failed—but you were growing the entire time.

Then somewhere along the line, as we grow up, we tend to stick to the comfortable routine of our everyday life. We start daring less to try the scary new things.

we are all failures, get out of your comfort zone

We don’t always like to try new things because you fear failure, but the reality is: failure isn’t the end of the road, it’s the beginning. Either you succeed and you grow or you fail and you grow, but trying something is always better than doing nothing.

You become a more confident and sociable person when you get out of your comfort zone.

The safety of your comfort zone is what’s holding your growth and happiness back.

It wasn’t until I joined AIESEC that I realised how trapped I was in my own thoughts.

I was an anxious girl. I never went to parties or never talked to people. That sometimes came out as arrogant, but reality being I was in a constant fear of judgement.

“What will people think? What will people say? Or what if I say the wrong thing?”

talk to strangers - get out of your comfort zone

This was until I realised that everyone felt the same way. So there’s usually not much that people can think or say, they’re probably also going through the same struggles as you.

Interacting in situations with people you usually wouldn’t interact with is a great way to get out of your comfort zone and become more confident. Go compliment someone you don’t know. What’s the worst that can happen?

It’s as simple as when you try new activities and experience things you’ve never done before. You automatically start growing out of your box, confidence is just a by-product of it.

If it makes you feel safely uncomfortable, please proceed.

The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself.

If you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel safely anxious, awkward, nervous, and/or uneasy, it very well may be the best thing for you. Not only leaving your comfort zone will help you take an endeavour at the things you’ve always wanted to do, but you’ll discover new things you never even knew you might’ve liked before.

Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your biggest opportunity

For instance, I remember the day I discovered my love for sunsets and how much peaceful I felt every time the sky changed colours. I decided to take a picture of the beautiful colours that were in front of me and share it on my Instagram.

Little did I know I had just discovered my passion for photography.

I also started writing about the thoughts that surfaced my mind every time I saw a sunset, which later on came out as another gift I bore that I never knew about.

Even though the ride may not be very comfortable and easy,  it’s going to be worth it. For the ride will not only help you grow, instead, you’ll end up meeting a completely different version of yourself.

nothing ever grows in the comfort zone

Remember that you don’t need an armour in life. You don’t need to shield yourself from the unknown.

Taking the first step is usually the hardest. But I can guarantee you that, once you take it, the only thought you’ll have in your head is: “why didn’t I do this earlier?”

However, I’m about to write something that’s freaky and a bit philosophical, but true. Really take this in: you become your comfort zone.

After you take the first step and go through all those challenges, you start again to feel comfortable with where you are. So you need to keep moving! Always!

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

Have you ever pushed yourself outside of your box? If yes, how did it help you? And what kinds of things did you do to make that happen? Let us know in the comments section below!

If you liked this blog, you may also like: Elon Musk : A series of successful failures.


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Studying bachelor’s in biotechnology, Aayushi is a really passionate person, who loves to read and travel. She believes people, places, and stories have the power to change anyone and help them understand the purpose of life.

We need to talk about CONSENT!

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.”

~ Steve Maraboli

Sexual abuse, rape, harassment – words we hear almost every day.

But, what about consent? Why is it that people are so reluctant on talking about the one thing that should actually matter?

The rise of the #MeToo and #time’sup movements have put an unprecedented focus on the issue of what is acceptable sexual behaviour.

So let’s stop avoiding the subject, is time to address it!

 

For too long as a society, people have blamed victims – usually women – for letting themselves be raped.

“She shouldn’t have been so drunk”, “she should have worn those clothes”, “she should be out so late”. But the concern is much less if a guy is doing any of those things.

On the other hand, we constantly see rapists and assassins – usually men – being forgiven. Apparently, they’re acting on some kind of uncontrollable instinct, from which they must be protected.

The issue remains even less understood when the situation is between two people who know each other. And that is something that we as human beings need to change.

It may seem simple to understand what “consent” means, but still, lots of metaphors are needed to actually clarify it.

This is a good one. You wouldn’t force or pressure someone into having a cup of tea, and you can tell when someone wants a cup of tea or not.

If someone says they want a cup of tea one minute, they can change their mind the next and should not be pressured to drink the tea. If this sounds simple, then so is the issue to consent to sex.

Consent is beautiful, it is enthusiasm, it is a free choice, it is mutual.

It is NOT assumed, NOT a right of marriage, NOT said in the clothes you wear.

This is what consent looks like:

  • Communication is key!

It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but it’s just as easy to make sure that both partners are consenting before or as they move forward.

You can ask your partner, “Is this okay?” or “Do you want to slow down?”, among other things, to make sure they are really comfortable with going with it. It’s important to communicate every step of the way.

Don’t assume that it is okay to move forward without permission.

  • Being explicit

There’s only one way to know for sure if someone has given their consent: if they tell you. It is important to be explicit about consent, by verbally saying “yes,” or using other affirmative statements.

  • Being respectful

It is extremely important that, if your partner communicates that they do not want to continue, you respect that! For sure you would like to be respected if it was the other way around, right?

  • Consent Isn’t Only Given by a Woman

Allow me to burst a few bubbles: consent isn’t something that’s gender-specific.

If you think women are exempt from being sexual predators, think again. And if you think men are excluded from being victims of sexual abuse, you’re delusional.

This is what consent does not look like:

  • Saying yes while you really want to say no

Saying “no” t can be awkward, uncomfortable, anxiety-provoking. But you are your own first line of defence. If you are unsure about it, say no. Nobody can force you to do something when you are not on board with it.

  • Assuming that a specific gesture means that it’s a “yes”

Dressing sexy or flirting is exactly that, and nothing more. Sometimes people just want to feel pretty, is their right.

Just because someone flirts with you, it does not mean that they are consenting to anything.

The attire of someone does not indicate whether or not they are giving you their consent. Consent only comes in the form of one word and that word is “yes.”

  • Consent is not implied

Regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship, or whether or not both of you have consented to the activity before, consent is not implied. The bottom line is, if the answer isn’t “yes,” it’s “no.”

It is also important to know that consent is necessary every time, not just one time.

  • If Consent Is Given For One Sexual Act, It Doesn’t Mean It Covers All Sexual Acts

Just because someone consents to one thing, it doesn’t mean they’re consenting to anything and everything else.

If you’re with your partner and have consented to everything you were doing up until a certain point, but he/she decides to try something else, he/she needs to have your consent first. You can only be sure if the other person consented to a thing by asking them about it.

You as an individual have the right to your words, mind and body.

If you are uncomfortable in a sexual situation or any situation, as a matter of fact, it is important to be explicit about this. Just as it is important to read someone’s body language and listen to what they are saying.

It’s high time that we as human beings know what is it that we can do to make this world a safer place. Not just for women but for men as well.

People should be able to understand when they might be a victim of a crime or a suspect of a crime. And they should feel comfortable and safe to do something about it. We should all know where we stand.

Slowly we are taking steps to reduce the inequalities that persist in the society. Let’s just be aware of the importance of having consent, every step of the way.

Again: if you don’t have consent, you can’t do it.

We would love to know more about your side of the story. Tweet us using the #WhatsYourIssue.

We at AIESEC have many projects for SDG number 5 (gender equality) around the world, for our Global Volunteer program. If you’re interested and feel that you can contribute, check more about the program here.

 

If you liked this blog you may also like: Let’s talk about it. Period.


Written by

Studying bachelor’s in biotechnology, Aayushi is a really passionate person, who loves to read and travel. She believes people, places, and stories have the power to change anyone and help them understand the purpose of life.

Are we human enough?

Another day, another year and time just pass by. It’s the same people, same routine and same habits. The days end for the resting ones to begin.

But among all the hustle, the commotion to different places, dealing with responsibilities and surviving the restrictions by the society, do we stop to see if we’re really doing fine?

Are we living the life we want to live? Are we adding value to anyone around us?

Damn.

kid say his mind is blowed

It’s hard to ignore the fact that thoughts like these, being the most crucial ones to define the structure of our real purpose or goals, become neglected by the end of the day.

And now that you’re back to being questioned on the real questions, let’s dwell in them and seek answers.

It’s often believed that no human is good or bad, but it’s their habits and circumstances that define their responses to different conditions. And it’s the choices they decide to make in those conditions that differentiate a philanthropist to a culprit in them.

So then, how do you ensure you bring out ‘more of the good in you’?

1. Be vulnerable

     human blindfolded

Starting with home, you can make it a practice to not suppress your inner voice and express the love and concern you feel for your family.

This helps in not only improving your relations with them but also in getting closer as a team and understanding each other’s needs. We’re always better when we’re loved.

2. Be aware of your surroundings

butterfly landing on dirty hand

Remember that you’re not living in an ideal society where everything is flowery and right. People tend to have varied mindsets and preconceived notions on matters, which may create issues.

Be knowledgeable about the ongoings in your neighbourhood, institute or workplace and take a stand for the suppressed.

It can be as basic as asking your siblings if they’re doing okay, helping out your mother at home, helping out a stressed colleague or supporting someone who’s being bullied. Or you can go further and feed the animals and homeless around you and the goodness just doesn’t stop.

3. Be empathetic

“Empathy is understanding their problems and knowing that it’s only luck that separates you from them.”- Unknown

Empathy is something that cannot be taught or instilled, but rather be thought upon and practised. It fuels connection and relates to ‘feeling with people’.

There’s no chance that you don’t see the underprivileged or the injustice around you, but it comes down to you being observant and taking the initiative to sort the issues out.

4. Take actions that actually make a difference

It’s never enough if it isn’t inviting changes. One must know that optimistic views invite contradictions, criticisms and intolerance from the opposite. But in the end, it’s the challenge you’ve taken and you have to get through.

Once a decision is taken, there’s never looking back.

human saying she wants to put an end to that

The more you treat it as a responsibility than an option or obligation, the more you enjoy the process of change, the more you spread happiness and the more changes you bring!

5. Being kind is not an option

Let’s encourage the idea of being a human as a human being and be generous and righteous. Let’s set the trend of being the cool that cares.

Be considerate and treat this trait as a strength.

This can be the true way of leading the odds. What sets you apart from other is the degree of how much you’re own self, and there’s kindness in everyone.

If we want to live in a better world, we should be the ones to take the first steps.

The Humanitarian Day revolves less around acknowledging the ones who made a difference, and more about how we can be better every day, for ourselves and for our world.

So now, it’s all up to you: will you be more human every day?

If this article interested you, you may also like to read this beautiful story about humanity and love.

And if you want to know how you can make a difference you can check our volunteer opportunities here.


Written by

Vanyashree Chaudhary is a light-hearted Journalism student from Delhi. She’s crazy about her love for graphic designing, Oreo shakes and Daft Punk. Find her the happiest while she’s traveling!

This story will change your perception about problems

When I was little, my mom used to tell me a story. It tells about a  man who once found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a little opening showed up in the cocoon. He sat and kept watching the butterfly for a few hours, as it attempted to compel its body through that little opening.

At a point, it appeared to quit gaining any progress. It looked up as though it had reached the extent that it could, and it could go no further. So the man chose to help the butterfly. He took a couple of scissors and cut off the rest of the bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly at that point rose effectively, but with a swollen body and little, withered wings. The man kept on watching the butterfly, since he expected that, at any minute, the wings would broaden and extend to have the capacity to help the body, which would contract in time.

But neither happened!

butterfly emerging from the cocoon - problems

Truth be told, the butterfly spent whatever remained of its life creeping around with a swollen body and wilted wings. It could never fly.

What the man, in his will to help, did not comprehend was that the confining cocoon and the battle were required for the butterfly. The effort would force liquid from the butterfly’s body into its wings, so it would be prepared for flight once it left the cocoon.

As a child, I was completely mad at the man, but now I understand how this story connects with our everyday life.

The sad end of butterfly taught me two main lessons, and they gave me the strength to welcome every challenge with an open heart. 

1. Challenges help us in our personal growth

chess board

We say we want to have a smooth cruising life, without any issues and problems at all. It is certainly impractical thus, imagine a scenario in which you have a life without any problem? Wouldn’t it bore if everything that happened was what you anticipated?

By chance, if you can accomplish anything without hard work, would you be delighted after you achieve something awesome?

Why people like sports, beginning a business or playing games? Since it is hard, challenging and winning it influences you to feel excited about your achievements.

Problems can be a helpful obstacle that once we manage to get past it, we will gain tremendous insights and experience that will be most helpful to our personal growth.

2. Some problems you must face by yourself

We also saw that the person cutting the cocoon and enabling the butterfly to leave it effectively, out of his own consideration.

Do you believe he was truly helping the butterfly? In a roundabout way, he made the butterfly creep on the floor for whatever remained of its life, despite the fact that it wasn’t his intention.

We have discovered that we should be more mindful of the circumstance before loaning help. Try not to offer help to the individual for a temporary relief. As a long-term goal, it can cause it to become more independent and pass out additional support throughout everyday life.

men facing problems as he is tied to a chair

For example, some of us are really bad at maths, English language etc. I was bad in the English language and could not understand tenses. So I found an easy way out!

I started copying my homework and cheating in my examinations. My friends were glad that they helped me, even though they knew they were harming me in the long run.

Then one day, the teacher changed our seating arrangements, and I had to start studying by myself. Had I not really tried understanding tenses myself and with the help of my teachers, I wouldn’t have been at the place where I am today: writing blogs and writing my own book.

I would never have realized my true qualities.

couple of butterflies

Give people a chance to develop themselves and sparkle.

I am certain that, not far off, they will be appreciative of you.

Let’s kickstart our day with the lesson from this beautiful story and see every problem as a step to get out of our comfort zone and discover our true potential! 😊

And if you know som people who need to have a better acceptance of challenges, how about you share this with them?

If you like this post you may also like: Golden Routine

Do you want to step out more to explore your potential by contributing towards United Nations’ SDGs and help us change the world? Check our leadership programs at www.aiesec.in.


Written by

Anisha Bhawanani is graduated in Marketing and Finance and loves writing. She is a happy go lucky girl with a head full of dreams, very passionate about traveling and exploring different cultures. One day she wants to win a man booker prize.